ELDERS AND EXPERIENCE

From Sampath’s Desk:

ELDERS AND EXPERIENCE

“Oldies stop the gab! We know better than you” - these incisive and trenchant remarks of some youngsters against elder generation are not uncommon. Yes, some loquacious and garrulous youth show such anger much to the dismay of elders. The cycle of younger generation chiding elders has almost become a ‘fait accompli’ and may probably go on in an endless spiral. Why today’s boys and girls fail to remember that on their becoming elders in future they might perhaps have to face the same music from the posterity? The phenomenon perhaps is prevalent among all echelons of the society transcending barriers like – rich or poor, educated or uneducated - continent, region, country, language, religion, race community, etc. Only the degree of sneering rebuke may vary depending upon societal strata of individual(s) or family, and standard of their living and lifestyles. People with different perceptions and psyche operate on different wavelengths. Innocent children are carried away mostly by emotions, teenaged by logic, youth and middle-aged make a blend of both, and elders, understandably go by experience. Mistakes are upsetting when they occur but years later the load of past mistakes called ‘wisdom of experience’ makes us smarter as one gets older.

 

Times inevitably keep on changing and we, with the times, but not to the extent of denigrating, belittling, and scoffing off at elders who have more mundane world knowledge, experience and expertise to face challenges and successfully come out of the iron mesh and chain the life problems and ordeals are beset with.

 

Children sometimes may lack in comprehensive wisdom and execution. The youth being in a salubrious state of body, mind and soul they may take things for granted. They may feel what they think and do should be/are always right. It may not necessarily be so at all times. Foolhardiness smacked of stupidity. Some misguided youth may pass cynical remarks at elders, “Don’t talk about things that are said to have had happened in Hyder Ali’s era”! A boy in his teens pretended inattention to his grandfather who tried to give his grandson advice how to study difficult subject(s) by giving him tips on certain specifics. However, the boy later stealthily followed the tips and clinched success albeit his initial hesitation, retort and rebuke at the suggested methodology. But alas his ego prevented him, at the first instance, from accepting and/or recognizing the well-meaning advice from his grandpa!

 

However, a paradox of parents/grandparents is that they refuse to recognize individuality of children/grand-children and their independent existence even after they have come of age and become grown-up. Since elders are emotionally attached to children, they have the propensity to always consider them as ‘fledglings’ and/or ‘novices’, a notion incongruent with the spirit of empowering grown-ups who are supposed to stand on their own legs and fend for themselves including application of mind, judgment of things and decision-making.

 

In life, wisdom comes mostly from bad experience, effrontery from good experience. Past is experience, present is experiment and future is expectation. With aging, one increasingly yearns for independent thinking, freedom of speech and liberty of action, based on his/her knowledge, competence and capability levels. The experience gained in overcoming an earlier problem may come in handy for them to tackle new ones. After all, experience is the best teacher! Youngsters should not fail to note this.

 

Let us enjoy the company of children and let children enjoy the comfort of elders. Let there be sync and synergy. When alive, my elderly father would become restive and fidgety unless and until all our family members returned home from workplace by dusk. Elders feel more secure with their near, dear and loved ones around. This is perhaps true with every household.

 

No two persons may see a thing alike. What appears to one as ‘well nigh impossible’ may be ‘easy to do’ to the other. It depends upon one’s mental make-up and level of self-confidence.

 

I strongly believe, some education comes from books while the rest from experience. Elders are the best judges per se. Too often, facts remain in theory only unless and until they are made successful ground reality. That underscores and highlights the importance of experience!

 

 

 

R.SAMPATH

11/6/2020