JOINT FAMILY & NUCLEAR FAMILY
JOINT FAMILY & NUCLEAR FAMILY
May 15 - WORLD FAMILY DAY
Man is essentially a social animal and bundle of emotions. In the
days of the yore, human-beings lived as nomads in the open just under the
shelter of the sky when civilization had not seen the light of the day.
Subsequently, they felt the necessity to live under a shelter of improvised
make-shift house. As centuries rolled by and civilization made inroads into
human life, pucca houses came into existence. The concept of the joint family was
unique to India, as Indian families traditionally believed in and practiced
bond-making and relationship-building considering family life more as a bridge,
facilitating human inter-connect, confluence, and sync of minds and
exchange of emotions amongst them - in short, mutual co-existence - where the
attachment between relatives was nurtured for eons, as opposed to the western
culture in which scattered living is the norm, thanks to the mindset change and
worker mobility precipitated by industrial revolutions, wars, large-scale
migrations, ever-growing economies, and the quest for independent living.
In India, with the freedom movement ushering in the education
revolution, people started thinking in terms of independence in everything -
privacy, political and socio-economic liberty, etc. The tether that bound
people together gradually loosened after India attained freedom and started
emerging as a fast developing economy, enhancing the common man’s living
standards, lifestyles, etc. India has proved itself as a knowledge treasure and
talents-hub in all fields. In the present fast-evolving globalized economy,
skill/talent mobility has become a convenient necessity for obvious reasons.
The Indian brain is welcomed everywhere especially in the western world including
the U.S. and U.K. Today, almost every Indian family would perhaps
have at least one member living and working in a foreign country. Indian
Diasporas all over the world bear testimony to this fact. People fanned out
into almost every nook and cranny of the country and even abroad in pursuit of
greener pastures in higher education and employment opportunities. Rising per
capita income and ever-advancing standard of living have, as a corollary,
triggered a new norm of independent living. The result is the current trend of
‘attached bathrooms and detached families’ contrary to ‘detached bathrooms and
attached families’ of yesteryear.
In joint families, besides the economy of scale, parents and
experienced elders shared with the younger generation their valuable knowledge,
ideas, advice, and support in times of crisis, which advantage is absent in
separate nuclear families. Joint families enabled robust upbringing of
children, nurturing of human values, relationship building, and bridging,
emotional integration, mutual co-existence, etc. facilitating overall
prosperous living of the flock. The joint family would be beneficial of
course if only all the members donned a positive hat and genial psyche, and
lived in unison and tandem with each other.
However, the concept of separate families is neither a sin nor curse.
When fissures start cracking the joint family, the panacea is naturally
‘detached family’. Once son or daughter gets married, the couple may
naturally like to live separately, understandably so, given the perceived
‘discomfort/encumbrance’ with in-laws around. Nowadays, people fall apart even
for flimsy reasons, as everyone wants to be independent without interference
from others. Separate family system is also dictated by other reasons like
rural-to-urban mobility, desire to have their own shelter, need for
psychological and emotional freedom, right to self decision-making,
determination of their own destiny, etc. Perhaps people tend to think - the
nearer you go, the fiercer is the estrangement.
A friend of mine, who, having experienced some irritants in
joint family opted to go the nuclear way. When after years
I happened to meet him, he plunged me into a pleasant surprise that with people
living separately for a long time, the bond and relationship had in fact improved
and got enriched, exchange of visits increased, interactions grew multifold,
etc. - all for the better. Perhaps, the longer and farther your separation, the
more intense would be the bond, love, and affection among relatives.
Both joint and nuclear families have their own
merits and demerits, holding the respective sceptres aloft. Whatever may be the system, as long as mutual trust and understanding,
accommodative attitude and approach, emotional integration, and enduring
relationships - all with a positive edge – exist, it is only a ‘win-win' for
all.
To conclude, everything is in one's mind to make his/her life hell or
heaven!
R.SAMPATH
Comments
Post a Comment