A SATIRCAL EPISODE

FROM SAMPATH’S DESK: 

 

EPIDEMIC CAUSES HAVOC AS RULES RULE THE ROOST

 

(Everything contained in this article is purely imaginary and fictitious. The write-up is an attempted fun and satire. There is absolutely no intention to slight or defame anybody or anything)

 

There was an epidemic flare-up in a city. A Committee was set up by Government to investigate. The committee couldn’t finish its job in time. It wanted one more week time extension. Finally, on investigation, it attributed the endemic to a new type of virus emanating consequent on sudden mass deaths of rats, cattle, dogs etc. Since the Committee didn't have as one of the references to fix the name of the new virus if one already exists, or if not, christen it with a new name, it couldn’t proceed. Due to virus infestation, many animals died and the carcass was found strewn all over an abandoned Football ground situate 12 KM away where large and thick bushes and thorny plants had also grown to make entry into that area difficult. Vultures started preying on the carcass. The virus also started afflicting humans.

 

When brought to notice, Government issued a corrigendum to its original order adding a few more references to the investigating committee besides finding out the name of virus, or christen it with a new one if none exists already.

 

Meanwhile, despite the season being summer, unusual heavy downpours battered the city and the committee members conveniently chose to remain indoors. The committee then requested Government for another extension of time to make its investigation into the newly added references. By then, 500 people were additionally afflicted.

 

With a lull in the downpours, there was spate of complaints to Government Healthcare Cell for prompt action, as people in hundreds took ill due to the anonymous virus. Not knowing the name of virus, Doctors found it difficult to treat patients and prescribe appropriate medicine regimen, as the virus appeared enigmatic and even medical dictionaries couldn't provide any solutions.

 

People gave petitions to government for immediate removal of the carcass and sanitization of the entire football ground area. On persistent demands from the public, the government ordered the Corporation authorities to remove the carcass immediately. Even though half of the carcass was removed, the other half was not, as, according to the Corporation officials, half of the remaining half was in the adjoining municipal area (which the Municipal Commissioner denied subsequently) and the balance half was in different State, over which they had no jurisdiction at all. The removed carcass was discarded and disposed off into a dump-yard beyond the Corporation limits. Thereafter, the officials were baffled and befuddled what to do, as they were not specifically instructed on the next course of action. They cited Section 3 (II) (iii) of the Town and Country Planning Act 1870 that clearly prohibited the Corporation from carrying out any operation in dump-yard(s) without specific permission from Government under the proviso to Sub-rule 5 of Rule 3 (iv) of the Municipal Barren Lands Act 1749, specifically referring to the foot note (ii) to sub-rule 4 ibid.

 

Meanwhile, since the number of afflicted people increased to a whopping 5000 causing flutters and jitters, people started holding protests and demonstrations. Media-hype highlighting the lethargy of authorities further confounded the confusion and put the government in a fix.

 

As the doctors in the state couldn’t establish the identity of the virus, as testing facility for this type of virus was not available in any laboratory in the State, they pleaded helplessness and wanted blood samples of patients to be sent to the national capital, which alone had a versatile laboratory to establish the identity of any type of virus so that appropriate medicines could be prescribed for curing the illness of people. But alas, doctors and national laboratory staff wer on an indefinite strike in the national capital. When threatened with stern actions, they joined duty as per clause 3 of an agreement reached with Government under the Legal and Illegal Strikes Act, 1897 and the subsequent Most Essential Services Act of 1901, with a condition that if their demands were not met, the strike could be resumed without notice to patients or government.

 

Since many Corporation officials and workers who were involved in the carcass removal themselves got afflicted with the virus infection, there was only thin attendance for the work. So, the authorities concerned issued a notification under section 48 of the Emergency Services (Temporary) Act, 1850, for recruitment of new hands on a temporary basis. But, some permanent workers went to court and got an order staying the recruitment process.

Meanwhile, another committee was set up by government for suggesting the modus operandi for disposing off the carcass. It recommended for the carcass to be taken away to the western forest ranges, 50 KM away, and cremate it in an electric crematorium to be constructed for the purpose for which they made a request to the authorities concerned. But the Forest Department ruled out construction of an electric crematorium in view of Sub Section 3 of Sec. 7 to rule 144(3) (ii)  of the Forest Ranges Act and the proviso thereunder.  Doctors released a list of DO’s and DON’T’s to be followed while handling the carcass for safety of the operating personnel.

 

With some contract labourers engaged refusing to handle the health-wise hazardous work, a fresh recruitment was initiated by Government vide G.O. No.111(b) specifically for handling the cadaver. This time, the government relied upon the Sub Section (iv) to Section 6 (vii) of the amending Act 1922 as may be applicable to existing cases mutatis mutandis. G.O. enjoined upon the new recruits under Sub Section (xi) to Sec. 3 of the Hazardous Works Act, 1912 to complete the work within one week.

 

While the matters stood thus, the rains receded and in the scorching Sun that ensued, all insects and viruses got killed. Thus, the whole episode came to its logical end.

 

                                                                   

R.SAMPATH

19/6/2009