CHILD - A CREEPER

FROM SAMPATH’S DESK:

 

 

  

 

CHILD - A CREEPER

20 November

WORLD CHILDREN'S DAY

 

Child - especially an infant, cradle-baby, toddler, etc. up to age 3-4 - is really God-personified. Normally, no one remembers the events in his/her life up to this age, as God is resident in a child; and, thereafter as it grows beyond this age into the mundane world, He slowly leaves the child making it to be on its own. 

A child can be and is likened to a creeper as it shares its characteristics in that he/she crawls over, climbs up, and stays with its touch points for support and interacts and is associated with them as it grows.

 

Tamil poet Kannadaasan likened a child to God saying ‘Child and God are one and the same in character especially in forgiving and forgetting (mistake(s) of others).’ That is why our forefathers christened their kids mostly after God’s/Goddess's names, examples being Balakrishnan, Balasubramanian(m), Bala Abhirami, Bala Saraswati, etc. in their ardent wish and desire for their children to grow up imbibing all that is good, and lead a noble life treading the righteous path. Naming our children after Gods and Goddesses also gives us an opportunity to call out the Holy names frequently, indirectly invoking the grace of the Divine Force.

 

Once grown up, our parents are our God as we are part and parcel of our parents. We carry their genes as we owe our birth and existence to them. That is why the great Tamil Poetess (ஔவையார்) said, “அன்னையும் பிதாவும் முன்னறி தெய்வம்” meaning “Mother and Father are our first-known Gods”. Hinduism recommends prostration (Namaskaram) of one before parents, the first-known  living Gods. See how the character and status of a child vis-à-vis parents get swapped with efflux of time?

 

Needless to say, a child and its lisp are a great source of joy to look at and interact with. And, one of the simplest facts is that the smile of a baby is the cynosure of all eyes making the onlookers delighted.

 

Even though there are many sayings and proverbs having developed (thanks to the collective wisdom of the society over centuries) characterizing the child and childhood in all countries, regions, languages and cultures across the world, it was Jean Piaget (9 August 1896 – 16 September 1980) of Switzerland, a pioneer in child psychology, who chronicled the first theory of child cognitive development.

 

Much like parents and elders teach the children as they grow up, children also teach the discerning adults - say like - accept things as they are and live in the present moment, be curious, passionate, fearless, and limitless, express emotions subtly, find joy in simple things/pleasures, forgive and forget others’ mistakes and harms, and indulge and enjoy - to mention a few.

 

Generally, we give meaning to and interpret things through categorization of the objects around. All this starts from the infancy days of babies from the age of 4 months when they are able to assign objects that they see for the first time in animate or inanimate forms. This is the beginning of the development of a child's psychology when he/she is able to recognize measurable changes in neural organization which reflect the transition from a mere viewing of the world as it looks to understanding it. The process goes on in an endless spiral as the child grows.

They also keenly watch the sounds and noises around.

 

For children of age up to 2, exploring the texture of anything that comes in handy, touching/taking it through hands and feeling it through the mouth and even biting it, throwing away and even breaking the objects in the process, tearing paper or any other similar things, etc. are their common activities as part of their physiological and psychological growth. They enjoy touching and dealing with soft surfaces like soft sofa, soft bed, clothes, velvet, fur/feather-like objects, water, etc.

 

In short, childhood is a slow journey from imperfection to (supposed) perfection.

 

Between 10 and 19 months of age, more refined categories emerge and the infant's organization of objects into categories reaches, of course little by little, the levels as in the adult brain. Children in this age range immediately recognize a soft, furry object with a face as a nonhuman animal.

For a child, mother is the first natural friend in this world, as recognized by law and in practice. Even the father comes only next. An infant, cradle-baby, or toddler knows nothing except love and affection, and, of course, play and more and more play! A child acknowledges, recognizes, and exchanges social smiles with whoever that are always seen around, in close proximity and intimately interacting with him/her irrespective of whether they are blood relatives or not.

They always would like to be within their territories and with their loved ones around. For, that will be their comfort zone.  They would stare at strange territories, things, and persons.

While children of age up to 2 may be friendly with dolls, toys, clothes, and other inanimate things/objects around or coming into contact with, they will be picky and choosy to interact with humans especially strangers. They normally feel secure within their usual geographical territories, and with known and familiar faces besides, of course, the parents. Even if the cild accepts and adjusts with a stranger at times, it may only be transient. They would check too often whether they are in their own territory with known people around. The response to an unknown territory or strangers would differ from child to child. While some children may make token protests, others may even cry.

At times, they will be either too much involved in their activity or get too distracted.

Just before 18 months and beyond, children would indulge in a mix of both constructive and destructive activities  with positive and/or negative emotions. Naysaying - verbally or by gesture - may be common. They will treat people like objects and indulge in activities like stepping on, pushing, hitting others including fellow-babies, etc. They may not have patience to quietly sit in a place. Concept of sharing will be rare. Responses may be mostly in mono-syllables. They spend their full energy to venture into activities that may even surprise you at times. ‘I will do it myself’ will be the norm with them, whether they succeed - fully or patially - or otherwise. They may not obey all your commands. A child can perhaps be easily distracted or lured away from a forbidden object or activity.

 

Mood and temperament decide the interest, energy and performance levels of their activities. Child is more willing to do what he/she can and doesn’t try too hard and takes and does things lightly and casually.

 

Slowly, he/she may like and develop the idea of pleasing others; maybe, to get what he/she wants. Complete success or sweating it out for the same is not their cup of tea.

 

Getting too much disappointed or frustrated at not getting a thing or not being able to do an activity is rare. If something is hard to come by or may require more time and effort, the child will jolly well abandon the task and move ahead.

 

Even while holding something in hand, he/she may try to catch hold of and get another. It is only a casual attitude and approach and can’t be considered as either bi-tasking or multi-tasking. Here, one is gently reminded of the saying, ‘You can’t have the cake and eat it too.’

 

A crawling baby almost has no patience; wants only what he/she wants, and when possibly can’t adapt will give it up. It will not wait even for a little.

The child normally yearns for love and affection from whichever quarters it may flow in, maybe, on a reciprocal basis.

 

I don’t intend these aspects and factors of a young child to be taken generically  and/or categorically conclusive, as they are only based on my observations and interactions with them. Not all children may be alike. After all, every child is unique.

 

Children are silent observers and imitators too. Give them something great to imitate.

 

Remember, wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it. Right is right even if no one is doing it. So, teach and make your children do good and right things by exemplification from the inception (at the earliest stages of his/her life), so that it becomes the norm with him/her forever once grown up.

 

One could even enjoy observing a parent and toddler delighting one another in each other’s company.

 

Allow, agree. accept, appreciate and answer all the feelings and efforts of your toddler - the best way is to adapt, adjust, and acknowledge the emotions and moods of the little heart.

 

Normally, children avoid being in the dark and don’t venture into unfamiliar territories and unchartered avenues.

 

For adults - the only thing that remains with you even long after your childhood is your past and the child in you. And needless to emphasize, to be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be effectively in their lives today.

 

Consider the saying ‘Silence is golden. Unless you have a toddler, then it is just suspicious.'  See how naughty a toddler is and what a world to enjoy with a toddler around.

 

The funniest part of adults’ behaviour with a child is that we spend the first couple of years of a child’s life teaching it to walk and talk; alas, for the rest of its life we make a turnaround and say ‘shut up’ and ‘sit down’. This is something mutually incongruous and inconsistent, if not altogether weird or absurd. A grown-up child has the innate ability to distinguish things, if not as perfectly as adults with a discerning mind.

 

Just like the jewel of the sky is the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars, the jewel of the house is the child. Yes, child is a miracle of love, a gift to the parents from the heavens, and for other loving members of the family as well.

A child could be a magic bridge or interlink between relations. As a magnet, the child could attract and connect the disconnected/broken relations and relatives.

 

Last but not the least, spend as much time as possible with your children especially in their formative stages, lest you regret later for having missed the bus. For neither are you going to remain young forever, nor your child will always be a child! Obviously, the clock can’t be put back.

 

  

 

(R.SAMPATH)

2/3/2022