DO WE LIVE ALONE IN A CROWD?

 

From Sampath’s Desk:

DO WE LIVE ALONE IN A CROWD?

 

Children, parents and relatives nowadays tend to remain too encrypt and elusive to each other, too reticent and taciturn in normal interactions. The present day children deserve praise for being individualistic, inquisitive, informative, intelligent and enlightened. Quest for knowledge, passion for perfection, intellectual curiosity, penchant for excellence, etc. in them are impressive and amazing. They have started questioning the answers to expand their knowledge horizons instead of answering questions - to hone their knowledge and skill-sets. A fertile learning atmosphere prevails now with all knowledge doors open enabling not just knowledge-churning but also free flow and rather flooding of information outputs and knowledge products from different sources from all across the world which has now almost become a single giant global suburb. Children exploit all sources effectively and efficiently making best use of the fertile facilitative environment and available golden opportunities, proving their mettle in all streams of education and information, and more particularly remaining updated in all areas. Indian Diasporas across the globe especially in advanced bloc prosecuting higher studies and well settled in brainy and lucrative jobs is a heartening pointer.

 

However, a disquieting factor is that their health is not as robust as they ought to be. Eyes glued to TV sets, Internet, smart-phones, computers - desktop, laptop, palmtop and tablet - etc., they confine themselves to protected cocoons avoiding physical activity and also mingling with others especially elders and relatives – not even with their parents in some cases. The younger generation avoids attending family functions of relatives. Whenever some relatives visited our house they would seriously engage themselves on cell-phone. They would be too happy to eagerly interact with their visiting friends and go outside along with them rather than sparing some time at home interacting with the inmates. In short, they are shutting themselves into a blind alley of ‘social isolation’. This is not a robust trend.

 

Intergenerational relationships now receive a beating. There is a tendency increasingly brewing with many parents and adult children conducting themselves in a perfunctory manner even while exchanging pleasantries. They exhibit phony dispositions but don’t seem to be emotionally closer to each other. When families stay connected, there are benefits for every generation.

 

Thanks to a host of inventions, modern equipment and mind-boggling speedy gadgets and devices, life has become easier than earlier with lifestyles revolutionized. New scientific and technological arrivals have closeted and confined people into diverse indoor portals. Modern apparatuses and appliances have rendered children’s brains cluttered with deluge of knowledge and information-flow. After all, children are our future citizens, some of whom will become part of the country's think-tank. So, there is a need for them to remain physically robust and stay fit.

 

Traditional joint family system prevalent earlier is fast on the wane giving way to nuclear units. Earlier we had ‘attached families’ and ‘detached bathrooms’, whereas now we have the reverse i.e. ‘attached bathrooms’ and ‘detached families’. Elders and relatives are looked down with discomfort, if not total disdain. A family get-together or dining together, conspicuously missing these days is in fact beneficial to all.

 

With both parents invariably employed, many children are not showered with parental love, care and attention to the extent required for their physical and psychological wellbeing. Small family norm, a fait accompli now, has limited most families to just one or two children. The single child doesn’t even experience what a sibling is all about! In the joint family system, we had different relatives living under the same roof to take care of the growing children. In urban milieus, many employed parents, frazzled as they are after work, come home late, virtually live in solitude and also toss the children into a trance. Small nuclear families create a ‘generation gap’.

 

Scattered family members rarely meet in family/common functions. Some children even shun attending them. Even while attending them, they feel ‘lost’ amid the crowd of relatives! Even in a 2-kids family, psychological synergy is missing albeit physical proximity. They globally call family elders as ‘aunty’ and ‘uncle’, much to the dismay, discomfort and embarrassment of parents and the relatives alike, whereas beautiful unique terms and nomenclature are available in all our vernacular languages to denote different relatives. Relationship-building is in fact a source of heal for the stress and strain common in our life.

 

Many youngsters are brilliant outside but hollow within. Cherished values missing need to be restored in them. For the grown-ups, parents should don the hat of a trusted friend/confidant. Contrarily what happens today is, in absence of ‘close-relatives-network’, children turn to their peers and friends circle more, as a reliable source of interaction, guidance, advice, etc. than even their parents/relatives. Is this an encouraging trend? Parents and children should make introspection. Are parents/children listening and ready to make amends and remedy the situation?