DON’T DRIVE THEM TO THE OLD-AGE HOMES

 

From Sampath’s Desk:

 

DON’T DRIVE THEM TO THE HOMES

 

Once some of my friends and I were on a goodwill visit to a home for the old aged on the outskirts of Chennai and got a chance to interact with some inmates.

 

We had some truth-packed and mind-rattling real stories to listen. While some made angry outbursts, others took things in their strides and patiently narrated how they became inmates of that Home. Emotional upsurge, angst and tumult were palpable and visibly seen.

 

An old widow in her 80’s told us that theirs was an affluent and aristocratic family having, among other moveable assets, an independent bungalow in the heart of the Chennai city. She had only one son whom the parents looked after showering extraordinary care, love and affection and educated him in elite educational institutions in India and abroad that finally enabled him get a lucrative job in the U.S. with a hefty purse where he is comfortably settled now with his family.

 

After marriage, son and daughter-in-law were living in the U.S. whereas the mother was alone in her bungalow in Chennai for some time before the shock of her life surfaced and struck. One fine morning, the son came from the U.S. and asked his mother (who had a share in some properties as the surviving widow of her deceased husband) to sign in some documents along with him for sale of all properties including that bungalow, holding out a promise that he would take her to the U.S. for living there with his family. She reposed fullest confidence in her son and signed on the dotted lines.

 

After appropriating to himself all the sale proceeds, the son took his mother to the Chennai International Airport one morning, asked her to wait outside the airport at a particular spot saying that he would be back soon after getting her air-ticket to the U.S. confirmed, and went inside the airport. But alas, he never turned up at all. That was the last she saw her son.

 

Waiting for the whole day outside the airport, the mother realized by night the folly of waiting any further with a clear understanding that she has been cunningly and cleverly hoodwinked, deceived and befooled by the son. With the help of some passers-by, well-wishers and police she finally got into the Home for the aged where she is now living.

 

Another hale and healthy widower in his 80’s was abandoned by seven of his children – four sons and three daughters - who are all in a wealthy state but none is willing to maintain the father. One of his well-wishers made arrangements to admit him in the Home. Another old woman not being able to bear the ill-treatment meted out to her by her son and daughter-in-law had to flee and take asylum in the Home.

 

These are tear-jerking episodes. Remember, everyone is progeny of his/her parents. Needless to say, how many ordeals are undergone, comforts lost and sacrifices of sorts made by parents in upbringing their children to a good status! But for the parents, nobody can be what he/she is. Indian culture prescribes and venerates the role of four important icons in one’s life in the following orders – Mother, Father, Teacher and God.

 

Everybody is duty-bound to take care of parents in their old age. More than the food and shelter, elders yearn and crave for affection, safety and security, and more importantly, at least one to interact with and give vent to his/her feelings or thoughts. In the evening of their life, parents need physical and psychological comfort. Moreover, it is advantageous to have elders with us. Their experiences coupled with their well-considered pieces of advice are an asset to the family. Unfortunately, the age-old, time-tested and well-meaning joint family system is fast on the wane. This trend does not augur well for a civilized society and moral and cultural ethos of a unique country like India where relations are fostered as a rule. Those who neglect and jettison their parents/elders should remember that they too would become elders one day.

  

(R.SAMPATH)

(This article was published in the 'Timeout' column of THE INDIAN EXPRESS under the same caption on 27.11.2008)