CRITICISM, COUNSELLING AND CHALLENGES

From Sampath’s Desk:

CRITICISM, COUNSELLING AND CHALLENGES

 

A criticism may be factual, imaginary, exaggerated, or at times even deliberately fictitious. One’s criticism is based on criticizer’s comprehension and notion regarding a subject or given situation or action. It may be a well considered opinion or a casual one. In any case it is subjective and individualistic. Criticism may have positive or negative tinge or edge. Though you need not automatically take the fall, a ‘learn and improve’ mindset taking it as a valuable piece of advice - if it is constructive one made with good intentions - will bring benefit for your guidance and to be more perfect in future.

 

But, some may indulge in lame criticism without reason or justification merely to chide and spite select person(s), making much ado about nothing with ulterior motives and to grill and settle scores with the person(s) criticized - a travesty of truth indeed! But a positive or constructive criticism, an outcome of a well-considered no-cost research being well-meant and well-intentioned one, is to be welcomed. Contrarily, negative, destructive or indiscreet criticism is indulged in by some only to hurt the self-pride, self-esteem and self-confidence of persons inconvenient to them. To tell the truth, constructive criticism is a no-cost research and development mechanism and a non-monetary tool of motivation. And if one is not open to constructive criticism, it only means that he/she refuses to accept the truth and is not open to truly developing his/her personality. Welcome positive criticisms but reject jealous ones. If you fear criticism you can’t really grow. On a lighter vein, there is only one way to escape criticism - say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing! Differentiate positive and negative criticisms. Aspiring and wise people choose to benefit from constructive criticism rather than be ruined by a false or faked praise. Remember, even very good things done by you may receive bad and negative criticism by some at times; ignore it.

 

Normally we don’t brook getting criticized. It is natural for anyone to enjoy being praised and appreciated, and feel bad and hurt when criticized. However, the hard truth is that we all do need criticism also. Although we are generally drawn to like-minded people, those who disagree with us can also truly help us grow. Yes, those who challenge us really make us to become smarter if their intentions were good to see us improve!

 

In the 1970’s when I started practicing for Higher Shorthand and Accounts, one of my senior well-wishers criticized me and gave a lot of tips and clues even though the way of his counseling was a little embarrassing to me. However I took it in right spirit. And years after when I was successful in my career, I expressed my gratitude for his wise counseling at a right time that proved to be a shot in the arm that made me stand ahead of the pack with inevitable success. Similarly, I too had counseled one of the boys known to me with the same robust result.

 

A true and genuine well-wisher should use soft and sweet words while giving advice to his friend instead of couching it with a chastising language. That would have more positive and enduring effect. In an early leadership role many years ago I also had a different experience which I still remember. Out of over-enthusiasm, I rebuked one of my juniors in a hurting language for a blunder committed by him. Wisdom dawning, I subsequently started feeling that I should have mellowed my language and delivered the advice to him softly. At a later date when I apologized to him for being harsh, he underplayed it and thanked me for what he called  as my 'apt and timely advice' that stood him in good stead in his career despite having to digest my harsh language earlier. He said to me, “After all you have genuine interest in my growth. I don’t see anything wrong in advising me the way you chose to.”

 

Challenges are what make one’s life interesting, exciting and purposeful. Overcoming them makes one’s life wholesome and the achiever prideful. If you claim that you have never failed, it probably means that you have never tried at all for fear of failure or due to lack of courage, strength and/or resourcefulness. The road full of thorns called challenges is neither a well laid out path of roses nor it enables a cake-walk on the featherbed. There is no readymade failsafe for a safe-sail. You have to carve and pave it. Smooth roads make no good drivers, smooth seas make no good sailors and clear sky makes no good pilots. Problem-free life will never produce extraordinary persons.

 

We are living in a knowledge explosion age. Wisdom lies in the ability to convert challenges into opportunities. Failure(s) should never daunt us. There is a saying that he is a great person who builds a house of his own with the bricks/stones thrown at him. At times, one has to take the brickbats as bouquets.

 

Tougher challenges alone could help one find robust remedial mechanism, tread the right path and reach the goalpost. For team and group initiatives, convergence of purpose is a prerequisite. Use the gauntlets thrown at you to reinforce your strength, pool up the resources and take on the challenge(s).

 

Do things steadily yet differently and efficiently - nicely and wisely - to make and leave a lasting robust imprint of yours in whatever tasks shouldered by you. 

 

 

R.SAMPATH