ENJOY OTHERS ENJOYING - BE HAPPY BY MAKING OTHERS HAPPY

 FROM SAMPATH’S DESK:

 

 

ENJOY OTHERS ENJOYING

 

BE HAPPY BY MAKING OTHERS HAPPY

 

At the outset, it is pointed out that whatever one enjoys is the divine dispensation. If you strongly believe and logically carry it forward, you may not mind sharing it with others. Happiness always looks small if you hold it in your hands, but when you share it with others you will realize how big, wonderful, and precious it turns out to be.

 

George Eliot would ask, “What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other?”

 

The tree exists not for itself. The river flows not with self-motives. Yes, clouds give rain and rain gives copious water to fill the water-bodies for consumption of all. Rivers do not drink their own water; trees do not eat their own fruit; the Sun does not shine on itself, and flowers do not spread their fragrance for themselves. The myriad of nature’s bounties confer countless benefits on humanity. Thus, living for others and making them happy and enjoy is a rule of nature.

 

The act of giving and sharing with others often leads to a deeper sense of fulfillment and happiness compared to solely receiving and accumulating things for oneself. 

 

Banana tree is a typical example of supreme sacrifice. The tree gives every part of it before ceasing to live.

 

ஊரார் பிள்ளையை ஊட்டி வளர்த்தால் தன் பிள்ளை தானாக வளரும். This means, ‘If you nurture the children of others, your child will grow on its own.’ It’s not any imaginary, whimsical, and/or far-fetched statement. This is what we can call societal networking and social engineering at the micro level.

 

Something given as a ‘quid pro quo’ (either in expectation of gratitude or something in return sooner or later) doesn’t and cannot come under this category.

 

If you want to be happy, try to make someone else happy. Let the science of happiness work in a positive and selfless way.

 

Ms. Milla Titova, Ph.D, a Professor of Social and Personality Psychology at the University of Arizona (Tuscon), U.S. undertook pathbreaking studies on happiness quotients - specifically on one group of students who felt happy doing things for self-joy, and another which felt happiness by making others happy. The stunning and incredible facts and findings are:

 

In the experiment, college students reported on their happiness and on their sense of autonomy, competence, and connection to others - all what researchers consider “basic psychological needs” for well-being. Then they were randomly tasked to do something to either make themselves happier, make another person happier, or socialize. Assigning one group to socialize helped determine if seeking happiness for another had an effect above and beyond simply being in someone’s presence.

 

Later that day, after doing their tasks, participants reported what they did, and then filled out their happiness and needs questionnaires again. Those who had done something to make another person feel better were much happier themselves than participants in the other groups, and their greater happiness was found to be clearly linked to a stronger feeling of connection to that person.

 

This finding was not too surprising to lead the researcher Milla Titova, who said that it fits in with prior research on happiness and found that giving to others makes you happier than giving to yourself.

 

Making others happy is more meaningful for people than just socializing with them or doing something to improve our own happiness. When we aim to make others happy, we feel connected to them and our relatedness needs are better met.  

 

In another part of the study, she and her colleagues tried to rule out the possibility that making someone else happier makes you happier because of how emotions spread between people, which is known as the contagion effect. To do this, they repeated their experiment, but this time asked participants to identify the recipient of their kindness and to say how much happier that person appeared to be. Then, they contacted the recipient and measured their actual happiness levels. This time also, the results and findings confirmed that those who felt happier by making others happy had more happiness quotients than their self-joy peers.

 

It all goes to show how discerning minds are able to scale higher peaks of happiness by making others happier than those dealing with happiness otherwise.

Let me conclude with the following quotes:

Happiness is in making others happy, and in serving others. When you do 'seva', the Divine streams through you. Seva opens you up.

(Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar).

The more you work to help others, the more you help yourselves. If I love myself despite my infinite faults, how can I hate anyone at the glimpse of a few faults? The easiest way to make ourselves happy is to see that others are happy. They alone live who live for others, the rest are more dead than alive.

(Swami Vivekananda)

 

 

(R.SAMPATH)

18/12/2024