LIGHTER MOMENTS

From Sampath’s Desk:

LIGHTER MOMENTS

Of late, life has become stress-laden and tension-ridden, thanks to machine-like human movements, rapidly changing lifestyles and speed, due to which, we are always on our toes and keep our face and mind stiff. In order to keep our mind cool, it is necessary to build up suitable philosophies, and develop and appreciate sense of humour  in life.

 

Earlier we used to have a house with an attached family and detached bathroom, which has now changed as ‘attached bathroom and detached family’. A sign of discord, friction and rancour!

 

Two soldiers on war duty were conversing – one said, “Why did you come to the war-front?” His friend replied, “I am not married and I love war, so I came here.” When asked the same question, the second said, “I am married and I love peace. That is why I am here.”

 

What is the difference between a lawyer and a doctor? If the lawyer were to be negligent, his client (accused) will be hanged 6 feet above the ground. If the doctor were to be negligent, his patient will be buried 6 feet below the ground.

 

Whereas a teacher trains the mind, a Station master minds the train.

 

Engraved on a dentist’s grave: ‘This is the last cavity he filled’.

 

A new writer asked a publisher (who was not interested in publishing his poems), “Shall I then put some fire into my poems?”  The annoyed publisher retorted, “No, you better put your poems into fire.”

 

A Committee meeting is like going to the toilet. You go in a hurry, sit down, make a lot of noises, drop the important matter and feel relieved about it !!

 

An important meeting is a gathering of important people who in single can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

 

Asked by the parent how was the examination, the son replied’ “No, not that bad! I did what Mahatma Gandhi did.” Elaborating he said, “I went down in History.”

 

Two famous poets sharing a common dais had a dig at each other thus: The first poet said, “My friend is not such a fool as he looks like.” The second retorted, “I only look like a fool but my beloved friend has no difference at all between his personality and the fool that he looks like. He is transparent and has no dual personality.”

 

A little schoolboy, when asked why heat expands and cold contracts, had this to explain, “It is simple. Days are longer in summer and shorter in winter.”

 

On the grave of a very lazy person, the epitaph written was, “He was so lazy that at last he stopped even breathing one day.”

 

The bald-headed Chinese philosopher Confucius said in self-praise, “A busy road does not grow grass and a busy head does not grow hair.”

 

Indian cricket team’s second innings performance was always better than the first innings. The commentator quipped, “India should play their second innings first.”

 

To demonstrate the ill-effects of alcoholism, a Doctor put a worm into a glass of alcohol. The worm after writhing in pain and discomfort for a while died moments thereafter. Doctor asked the patient: “What do you understand from this?” Pat came the reply, “Alcohol helps kill worms in the stomach.”

 

A beautiful woman made an offer of marriage to Bernard Shaw suggesting that their offspring would be so beautiful like her and scholarly like him. Pat came the reply from Bernard Shaw, ‘What would happen if the child were to be ugly-looking like me and so foolish like you?”

 

A kangaroo which lost its baby complained at an Australian Police Station, “I have been pick-pocketed.”

 

Explaining the difference between ‘discovery’ and ‘invention’, the mother said to the son, “Before marriage, I found your dad, that was a discovery. After marriage, you were born. That is an invention.”

 

The world-renowned Indian Scientist and the Nobel Laureate Sir C.V.Raman was asked at a dinner party why was he not drinking? The teetotaler jovially quipped, "You can see Raman’s effect on alcohol, but can’t see alcohol’s effect in Raman."

 

An American, Russian and Indian met. The elated American reported, “Yesternight God appeared in my dream and gave me a lot of advice to do good things.” The beaming Russian told, “Yesternight God appeared in my dream and appreciated me for a lot of good things that I had done”. The clever Indian said, “I don’t remember to have appeared in anybody’s dream yesternight.”

 

Come on, let us laugh our worries and stresses away by appreciating and nurturing a sense of humour at home, workplace and elsewhere! 

WORLD LAUGHTER DAY is celebrated on the first Sunday of MAY every year.

 

 

R.SAMPATH

25/3/2020